Things I've learned living in Arizona...

So in barely over 3 weeks I'll officially have lived in Arizona for one year. I was just chatting with a hotel guest about my move here. This man moved from California to France and has been there for 10 years and he moved for work. I moved from Colorado to Arizona for no good reason and I told him I'd be scared to move to another country and he said it was braver to do what I did. I'm not sure I agree with that but I like to think I'm a brave soul. This has nothing to do with my post, I just want you all to know that someone called me brave. (I'm not known for my courage I don't think.)

The point of this is that I started to reflect on my time here and what I've learned and there haven't been many lessons, but still, my year here has to count for something.

1. Sunsets and sunrises are exceptional here. I heard in some song once about painted Arizona and it's true, sometimes I look at the sky and it's colors and it really looks like a painting. I love it and that alone could keep me here forever.

2. It wasn't nearly as unbearably hot as I was led to believe. Don't get me wrong, it was friggin hot, but I survived it even without AC in my car and have no plans to leave before next summer.

3. I actually do like watching The Biggest Loser. I've started a ritual with my roommate Chelsea and I really didn't want to watch the show at first, I'm not sure she knows that, but I was home and nothing else was going on. And I did really start enjoying it. Even more I like spending time with my roommate and the last couple of months we've had my friend Carrie staying with us and while she sleeps during most of the 2 hour episodes, it's fun when she ventures out and tries to figure out all the things that took place in the episode the previous hour and a half.

4. I miss my family. When I lived in Colorado Springs I lived in the same town as my parents and most of my siblings. And just ask them about it and they'll love to tell you how I was never around. I really spent most of my time with friends and often would leave family gatherings early to meet up with friends. I didn't think it would be that big a deal to move away from them and if anything, the guilt about not going over, more specifically the never ending conversations about how I never come over, would end. Imagine my surprise when I realized that I really missed at least the option of seeing my family more. We recently just had a not ideal experience and I hated not being there and not being able to offer my support or do anything but sit at home and wait for news.

5. I learned how to love the hospitality industry again. I was really burnt out before moving to Arizona and never wanted to work at a hotel again. Since I've been a night auditor I've really been able to find my love for customer service again and I appreciate that so much.

6. I've learned how to be happy. I figured out how to overcome my insecurities and let things go quicker than I used to. It's been such a weight off my shoulders and I enjoy life and people more.

7. I've learned that floating down a river on a tube for 4 hours is one of the best things in this world ever...as long as you have an appropriate amount of sunscreen.

8. I've learned that the news can be as equally horrifying (beheadings, woman being beat up on their driveways) as it is weirdly mundane (a news report on a vacant house with dressers left on the driveway).

I'm sure there are other things, but life really is pretty much the same here as it was in Colorado. I still work at a hotel. I still go to church every Sunday. I still hang out with friends. And I still have a roommate who does ridiculous things, although I haven't asked her to get into a sterlite box and let me take pictures, that was just for me and Kayla.

But it's warmer here and even though most things are similar, I've found a lot more inner happiness and I'm pleased with my decision to move. Thanks for being so great Arizona.

Things you can accomplish when not on Facebook...

Okay. I'm sorry. I definitely became a Facebook monster and in an effort to rein in my multiple status updates each day I decided to take a break for a week, not just for myself, but everyone else too. So imagine my surprise at all the things you can accomplish when you're not wasting time updating Facebook. I couldn't possibly list all the things I was able to do because they're so vast, so I'm limiting this blog to just the top ten most important things accomplished in the last week.

1. Taught myself how to play the piano with my toes.
2. Mastered all of Paula Deen's recipes from her Lady & Sons cookbooks and now feed my friends good old fashioned southern food every night.
3. Figured out how to repair all my car ailments myself, sold it, and made a new car from scratch after buying car parts with the money from my old car.
4. Finally conquered my roommate's bastard elliptical machine and stayed on for 3 straight hours.
5. Started and finished reading the Bible and the Book of Mormon in one night.
6. Began writing a column for the New York Times that educates Americans on how to be self sufficient when traveling so that no more time is wasted answering stupid questions like, "Even though the building says Hilton I was wondering if you were also the Courtyard Marriott?" It's titled, "Don't Be That Guy Because Someone is Bound To Blog About You."
7. Became a certified sky diving instructor even though my extreme fear of falling prevents me from ever actually jumping out of a plane myself. (those who can't do, teach.)
8. Successfully campaigned to have all copies of the new Footloose movie burned and Dennis Quaid hog tied for participating in such a travesty.
9. Solved the cat overpopulation problem in America by shipping all extra cats to starving third world countries. Originally I was trying to provide all the starving children with comfort and companionship. Ironically I just wound up curing world hunger.
10. Finally learned how to do a cartwheel.

It's just amazing how much you can do when you aren't distracting yourself by updating facebook every hour.

How is it possible that I'm actually in my 30's?

Okay. This is ridicuous. I'm 32. I do not feel 32. I don't look 32. Most importantly, I DO NOT ACT 32. I believe that for someone to be in their 30's they need a whole new level of maturity. I'm not sure what that level is because I definitely haven't reached it yet. I see other 30somethings out there in the media or walking around and I think, "Is that how I'm supposed to look and act?" I really have been trying to ignore my age desperately. And so what I'd like to do here is list the things I do and say that prove that I'm not really in my 30's. Something happened and something went wrong, but I'm definitely not a 30something.

• I still say, and encourage, "That's what she said" jokes.
• I prank people by sticking little signs all over their yard.
• I pout.
• I enjoy grape soda.
• I dance to Britney Spears' older albums.
• I participate in nerf gun battles with my friends.
• I still think it would be a great idea to dress up like zombies, fill a dummy with cherry pie, take it to a park and eat it and make it look like we're eating a human being. (Thanks Casey Fish)
• I'm frustrated that I can't search for Easter Eggs anymore and now have to be "Santa's Helper."
• I'm FURIOUS that I can't trick or treat anymore.
• I laugh when I see someone trip and almost fall.
• Sometimes when I'm driving away from somewhere I pretend my car is a racecar during the first rev off the curb.
• I want someone to take care of me when I'm sick.
• When I'm in the pool I'll dip my head in and pull it out so I can do that flippy thing with my hair that girls do to make it look like one big curl across my head.
• I regret never learning how to do a cartwheel.
• I think it's funny to scare my roommate when she comes out of the bathroom.
• I really want to reinstate Pee Wee Herman's word of the day where you pick a word and anytime someone says it everyone SCREAMS!!

I think that's enough for now. I firmly believe that mature and reponsible 30somethings wouldn't do all these things and if life can't be lived to the fullest absurdities than I want no part of it!

I knew dumpster diving was for the good of humanity!

So during the wee hours of my work shift I came across this article about a man who dumpster dives to save his family money.

I knew dumpster diving was for the good of humanity!

I like how he wanted to be anonymous not because he was ashamed but because he didn't want people invading on his turf. This whole article took me back to my days of dumpster diving.

It all started the summer that I was 19, just about to turn 20. I was living in St. George, UT in a ghetto apartment above a Christian Thrift Store. One morning WAY too early for an easy living college student off for the summer I was awoken by voices and other various noises. I looked out my window and there below me was an entire hispanic family in the dumpster belonging to the Thrift store. Dad, Mom, and three kids. Literally all in the dumpster. I was mostly just more annoyed than curious as to why they would all be in there scrounging around. The next weekend I was again awoken to more sounds. I looked out the window and sure enough, people in the dumpster, one guy inside handing stuff out to a woman who would inspect it and decide to keep it or trash it. This became a regular thing and I was fascinated. Every weekend I would watch in the mornings as more and more people showed up to take discarded treasures that the store decided they couldn't or wouldn't sell. Eventually my roommate and I decided to venture down after hours. We pulled out an extremely old stationary bike and various clothes and were having fashion show inside the dumpster. This of course is the part in the story where the guy I had a serious crush on rode by on his bike to visit and I'm standing inside the dumpster, wearing various items that previously belonged to who knows who and was appropriately humiliated. That was my last venture into that particular dumpster but we did snake a lot of items that were left on the curb at night.

Fast forward several years, and I'm now living as a more responsible adult with a new roommate. I came home from a meeting at church one Sunday and just happened to walk past the dumpster and outside next to it was a glorious and big green oriental chest. I wanted it. I had to have it. I ran into the apartment telling Kayla, "You have to come look at this!" I was unsure how she'd react, some people have quite an aversion to other people's trash and Kayla and I hadn't been living together very long yet. To my delight she was just as thrilled as I was and we started to take it inside. That is a whole different story that I won't bore you with but let me just say, our desire to have this chest was very strong, so strong we called in reinforcements because we were unable to lift it and we waited quite awhile for him to show up.

Later Kayla and I started taking walks around the apartment complex parking lot and I don't really know what we found next or in what order, but it became a regular thing for us. We found a variety of items; a camoflauge hat, toaster oven(brand new with plastic and instructions included), a driver side car seat with lumbar support, a mirror, a chair, an awesome carved wood jewelry box, a color printer, a mini air hockey table with all pieces included, and other things. For Christmas that year a good friend even gave us pink plastic gloves and official Dumpster Diver ID badges!

The moral of my story is that it is a really good and fun way to save. And turns out, a great bonding activity with a new roommate!

May I have this dance?

So I had to replace the battery in my car and I suspect that it blew the fuse to my radio because now my radio won't work. So I've been forced to listen to my ipod while driving and it's been awhile since I've done it. I was pleasantly surprised with some of my favorite dancing songs and it made for a great ride home this morning. I decided I was going to blog about dancing but that changed to sharing some music videos with you of the songs I listened to on my way home today.

Charlotte Gainsbourg with Beck- Heaven Can Wait

I recently discovered this song and I'm just gonna admit right away that this one isn't on my ipod and if you're offended you can just stop reading.

Foster the People- Pumped Up Kicks

I heard this song for the first time here in Arizona on my way to a friends house. It was really starting to get warm and my car windows were down (because I don't have AC in my car) and this really started off my summer good. It wasn't until about 20 minutes ago that I found out the song is about a school shooting and it makes the song super eerie. But I like it and call me evil, but I still can't help but dance.

Miley Cyrus- Party in the U.S.A

I can't tell you how this specific video strengthened some of my best friendships!

OKAY, I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO LINK A VIDEO INSTEAD OF JUST A LINK BUT I'VE SERIOUSLY BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR 3 HOURS SO I'M NOT GOING BACK, ONLY FORWARD.

Chromeo- Night by Night:

If I could pay to dance with this man I really really would.

Vampire Weekend- Giving Up the Gun: What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good beat and good cameos.

Passion Pit- Little Secrets:

When I went to my trusted Wikipedia to look up this song it was said that it was performed by an American Wonky Pop group. What the heck is Wonky Pop?!? I love the word wonky and I’m not saying anything else about the matter.

Scissor Sisters- I Don't Feel Like Dancin':

I was introduced to the Scissor Sisters from a review in People magazine. I don’t remember how it was that they described the music, but it was enough to make me look into the group and I instantly loved it. This is one of my favorite songs to dance to and I do really love the obvious irony of it.

Sam Sparro- Black & Gold:

I didn’t know until after I already loved this song that it was about God. And the song instantly became that much more dear to me.

they wouldn't let me give you the good Sam Sparro video by using the video link option so click on this

Brandon Flowers- Was it Something I Said:

I don’t know much background about this song but I just know that I really love it and I really love Brandon Flowers. And I don’t care if he’s not the best Mormon in the world, I love that he is and that he claims it. And I love that he's out of tune in this video and admits it.

What is the big woop with social media?

So I've always been a little behind when it comes to technology and the social media. I have a pride complex called, Refusetobeafolloweritis. Once I hear about something that everyone is doing and I just HAVE to do it, I'm immediately repulsed. This is true with most things, not just technology. For instance, I still don't get why Inception is the best movie ever. It sure did have cool stuff and effects in it, but I really was not impressed. And I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I saw it after everyone was lauding it with praise.

I also have never had to have all the latest fashions and such. Not my style. Not really in my budget either, but I've just never understood spending a ridiculous amount on one shirt just to have the label. It took me a long time to get into the music scene and I felt a lot of pressure for awhile to like certain types of music. I had a conversation once with a cousin of mine who is a fabulous musician and after telling him the type of music I liked he said, "Oh you like Top 40 stuff." I'm not sure if it was meant to be a put down, but I felt the superiority in his voice. It took several more years for me to finally admit, HECK YES I like Top 40. I like all kinds of music and am proud of it.

So it isn't a surprise to me that I'm not as tech savvy as I used to be. I hold dear to my memories of the 80's and would really appreciate it if we could go back to that decade and with every new technology or social media, we get further and further away from a time that I love dearly. Guess what? I still own VHS movies. For some of you, I mean, I own videocassette movies. They're the 8 tracks of the MP3's we now are starting to own. If you don't know what an 8 track is, ask someone else because you'll just make me want to slap you.

Some of you will be surprised to hear that I used to be major anti texting on the cell phone. I couldn't figure it out. I thought it was more of a hassle than anything. If you wanted to text me a meeting time and/or location, fine. If it turned into a conversation I would call you or just stop responding. I'm not sure when this changed, but I am now queen of the text. I rarely call anyone and am frustrated with people who refuse to add this important feature onto their phone. When I was living in Colorado I would send out mass texts to invite people over to parties at my home or to church related activities. What a great way to communicate details with people at one time! And more than one person has told me that after getting into a regular text relationship with me they've had to change their text plan to include unlimited texting. You're welcome!

What does any of this have to do with social media? I'm getting there. No one is forcing you to read this. Be patient. Anywho. I started out with MySpace. It was already a big deal by the time I ventured onto it. I had zero intention of joining but I was bored and just wanted to see what the big deal was. While looking around I found a guy that I had a crush on in high school and his profile listed him as gay. I was shocked and intrigued and wanted to know more. But in order to communicate I had to join so join I did. It was fun at first and it actually helped broaden my musical horizons. Facebook came second. Some friends at work mentioned that they had pictures on there and I really wanted to see them. Again, I had to join first. So join I did. It was boring compared to MySpace. No profile personalizing and such. Very simple. I later deleted my myspace because I was tired of skanky ads and girls showing up all over the place and facebook was getting more interesting. Now I am addicted in the worst way to facebook. I'm a shameless friend stalker. By that I mean, I look at all your stuff. I enjoy seeing others interactions with each other and funny antecdotes and all the good stuff that comes with it. I check facebook multiple times in a day and I'm not ashamed of it at all.

In the middle of all the MySpace and Facebook came Twitter. Oh twitter. I've resisted you for so long. I've ventured onto in only to be instantly turned off. I've never understood the point of it. It's like an endless status update. I really grew to hate it when people started being able to simutaneously update twitter and facebook. I mean, while I enjoy a lot of people's lives, I really don't care if you're going to the grocery store or if you're clipping your toenails or if you just had the most satisfying toilet episode of your life. And I definitely don't need an update on you every 5 minutes. It seemed excessive and pointless to me. (Also, I get that this may seem hypocritical because I update facebook pretty often, but I like to pretend that the things I say or more interesting than just the mundane happenings of my life.)

So all this is the history of my social media life. Not including this blog that I just started. I just recently returned from a trip to Colorado where my dad was speaking to me about my blog and how much he loves it and we spoke a lot about social media. He asked questions and gave me tips and finally he asked me about twitter and I explained that I just hadn't yet seen the point. Not interested was my message. Fast forward about one week and my good friend Myke Lewis Olsen sent me a text.

"You ever think about joining twitter? I think you might like it, it's kinda like sending a mass text."

I joined in the next 5 minutes. So what I've learned about myself is that, there needs to be something in it for me. A purpose for me. We'll see how much I like twitter and if I can really get into it or not. But I'm excited to finally have that cute little bird on the home screen of my phone.

Why I believe that Winnie the Pooh is a bad influence on children...

I've had a theory that I like to sometimes share with people and I think given that this cartoon has a movie out, it's a good time to blog about my theory.

Winnie the Pooh teaches children about bad qualities to develop. Let me illustrate...

Winnie the Pooh himself: This bear teaches about gluttony and obsession. He continuosly gets his head stuck inside his jar of honey. He overindulges in it can often be found amoung many empty jars after binging on his "drug" of choice. This is supposed to be adorable? It isn't. As a child I remember being sometimes irritated at his stupidity.

Piglet: For real, this little creature is terrified of everything and constantly has people running to protect him. Yes, let's teach our children about insecurites and being afraid of every little shadow. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and blame my own fears on my unfortunate viewings of this children's show and Piglet's less than exemplary example.

Tigger: There are almost no words. This bouncy tiger was just plain obnoxious. Always in everyone's way. Bouncing around and creating havoc. I'm pretty sure he was on crack and/or speed. (Are those the same things?) Loud, hyper, and problematic. Mooching off the generosity of Kanga and Roo. He's the friend everyone has but tries to avoid at the same time.

Rabbit: I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea if the rabbit has a name or not. This creature was judgemental and rude and alienating. Even went so far as to barricade himself in his own home. Selfish and unwilling to share.

Owl: Also not sure on a name. I do remember that this owl was self righteous and pretended to be smarter than everyone else. Supposedly he could read but if anyone looked over his shoulder to read along you'd find that he couldn't in fact read. What a poser.

Kanga: The "mom" of the group. Fine, I have nothing bad to say about her. Except that she was a Tigger enabler.

Roo: So there was actually a study done on what kind of "person" Roo would grow up to become and it was found that he would be quite dysfunctional, especially since he had Tigger as his role model. So basically Roo was a follower and even went along with a scheme of Rabbit's to pretend that he had been kidnapped. What a little jerk.

Eeyore: I saved this guy for last. Really? This donkey was always losing his tail and resorted to self mutilation to keep it on. And that even failed. A depressed and self-loathing individual and constantly seeking words of affirmation from his friends. What a drain.

Then there's Christopher Robin. I don't remember enough about this character to really say anything so I'll talk instead about his namesake. Named after an actual little boy who grew up to be a real douche. Here is a quote he gave which makes me just wanna slap him around some, "It seemed to me almost that my father had got where he was by climbing on my infant shoulders, that he had filched from me my good name and left me nothing but empty fame".  That father gave you that name of yours and it has gone down in history (no matter how erroneously I believe it to be) as a favorite of children everywhere. I'm not sure where he gets off on saying his dad climbed on his infant shoulders. All you gave was your name, I mean, all your dad did was use the name he gave you. If that doesn't convince you that the real Christopher Robin is a bit of a douche maybe this will help. I got this from Wikipedia: "One of the poems, Vespers – which describes young Christoper Robin saying his evening prayers – was said by Christopher Milne as 'the one work that has brought me over the years more toe-curling, fist-clenching, lip-biting embarrassment than any other.'" Here is the said offensive poem:

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

God bless Mummy. I know that's right.
Wasn't it fun in the bath to-night?
The cold's so cold, and the hot's so hot.
Oh! God bless Daddy - I quite forgot.

If I open my fingers a little bit more,
I can see Nanny's dressing-gown on the door.
It's a beautiful blue, but it hasn't a hood.
Oh! God bless Nanny and make her good.

Mine has a hood, and I lie in bed,
And pull the hood right over my head,
And I shut my eyes, and I curl up small,
And nobody knows that I'm there at all.

Oh! Thank you, God, for a lovely day.
And what was the other I had to say?
I said "Bless Daddy," so what can it be?
Oh! Now I remember it. God bless Me.

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

I can think of a lot more embarrassing things than my father writing a sweet poem. Maybe I can see a little bit of embarrasment but, toe-curling, fist-clenching, lip-biting embarrassment? Maybe I'll blog about the things I've done and said that I would describe as that embarrassing, but not here.

Here's a picture of Mr. Christopher Robin Milne and his horrible and abusive father

                                                              

Anyway, I'm sure no one is convinced. And I'm sure that some of you will say to yourself, "Brianne, you yourself have some of the bad qualities you described." Sure I do, as do some of you. And I will forever attribute these obviously learned behaviors to a seemingly innocent cartoon. 

Thanks a whole lot Winnie the Pooh and Friends too.

Someone else who inspires me...

So this story is old news to some, but it was new to me about a month ago and I can't stop thinking about it. My greatest fears are really the things that can happen in life suddenly and tragically. The things that aren't foreseeable consequences to our bad choices, just the things that are apart of the human existence. This story is of a woman, of a family, who had this and I'm so inspired by her story. By her constant smile and the beauty that shines through...here's a link to her blog...

Stephanie Nielson

I hope she inspires you all as she did me.

I imagine heaven to be similar to the 80's...

Okay okay okay. Worship of the 80's decade is nothing new. Certainly not original. But I can't help but long for the decade to come back. If I had a time machine I would go back to the 80's and stay there. For at least another 10 years anyway. The music was awesome. I've been watching a lot of 80's movies lately at home. And there are things that I miss that filmmakers just don't do now. Not any that I can think of and if you can think of some, keep it to yourself, this is my blog and I'm always going to be right.

One of the things that 80's did differently was the music. First of all, they liked to make a song specifically for that movie. Wind Beneath My Wings...Beaches, Eye of the Tiger...Rocky III, (a little trivia regarding Rocky III, the Song, "You're the Best" that can be found on The Karate Kid soundtrack was originally written for Rocky the 3rd but Eye of the Tiger was chosen instead. Both great songs in my book), What a Feeling...Flashdance. Anyway, you get my drift. Why are we not writing iconic theme songs for movies anymore? Some of the best movie soundtracks I've heard recently are only really good to me because they include songs from different eras that I really enjoy.

Something else that 80's movies did with music was write theme music that was played throughout the film and depending on the action in the film, the tempo would get slower or faster. A great example of this is the movie Fletch, with Chevy Chase. I wish I could take credit for this observation, but one night watching this movie with a couple of friends, one of them pointed it out and it made for a hilarious night.

Something that really isn't attributable (did I spell that right?) to 80's movies but is part of what makes the decade so great...The Fashion. There isn't any other decade that is more hilarious to reenact in outfits and hairdos and makeup than the 80's. It might be "fun" to dress up in a roarin 20's outift or make a peace sign in some tie dye clothes. Even poodle skirts and tight t-shirts (for the fellas) makes for an enjoyable night. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, is more hilarious than what I've seen some of my friends come up with during an 80's night. They were ballsy back in the day! What is the deal with shoulder pads, why was this desirable to be seen on a woman? What about 80's butt? You know 80's butt, when women wore paints up to their actual waist line so their butt seemed to be really high? There are a lot of other examples but I'm getting tired of writing so I'm gonna end soon.

I just want to say that there aren't many songs nowadays that instill in me the emotions that a good 80's song does. I love when I'm listening to the radio and a long forgotten song comes on. The rush of nostalgia that comes over me is indescribable. When I watch an 80's movie I long for a long past era of time that seems, to me, to be other worldly even. I remember as a child looking forward to certain experiences and things only to find out that by the time I was old enough for them they were gone, along with the decade I love.

I miss it all and can only hope that one day, it will be recreated somewhere that will allow me to partake of all it's greatness.

You already know I love tacos but maybe you don't know these things...

So there was a really crazy dust storm here the other day. As a result the last couple of nights on my way to work it's been kinda of eerie outside. It seems like it's foggy outside but it's dirtier and browner and the air seems more still, if that's possible. There's one stretch of road that goes by some industrial area and they have a lot of flood lights on below the interstate so the glow seems to come from the ground and I feel like I'm in a Spielberg movie. For whatever reason I'm loving this weird dust fog. It makes me calm and more still on the inside. So I'm at work right now thinking about how much I love it. And then I started thinking of other things I love. The things that I love seem simple to me. Like, I love that the new blinds Chelsea put up in our windows give a different sort of light in our home. I love that after showering and washing my hair I can just let my hair air dry and it will be done for the day. I love singing and dancing in my car. And I mean SING and DANCE. I don't mess around with that sort of thing. I love looking up movies on wikipedia and ruining the ending for myself. This frustrates a lot of people but I love knowing what's going to happen before it happens. I love the office. It's one of the few shows that I'll watch by myself and will laugh right out loud to. And not just a chuckle, but a full, bend over myself laugh. This segues into my next love. I love James Spader. It's really kind of an odd thing because if I really look at him he's just so creepy. But I also remember him from the 80's, specifically Pretty in Pink and I just have a guilty pleasure hankerin for some Spader. So I love that he'll be on the office. I love vanilla flavored tootsie rolls. I love wasabi peas. Of course I love the obvious things and people but I've already dedicated a post to those people and I'm not repeating it here. I love facebook and I know people joke about stalking, but I really do like looking into other people's lives. Don't be creeped out, you most likely do it too if you have facebook. I'm pretty much done here. I love more weird crap but I'm at work right now and people are starting to arise and with all the interruptions I don't know how to end this in a non abrupt way.

BIRTHDAY WEEK!!

So I have an upcoming birthday, Sunday to be exact. This year I was sort of dreading it. For the last three birthdays I've had the same roommate and she has always made sure to do something for my birthday. And I don't know if it was because we knew that this last year would be our last year together or not, but we really went all out for one another's birthdays. And I usually go to dinner or lunch with the parents. This year though I'm in a strange land where not too many people know me. And while in Colorado Springs I'm probably known best for the parties I used to throw with Kayla, I'm more of a hermit here in Mesa. So I wasn't expecting much for my birthday this year, if anything at all.

I should have known better.

First of all, let me say that I'm in my thirties. As of Sunday I'll be 32. I keep feeling that at some point I should start acting my age, problem is, I don't know how a normal 32 year old would act.

Second, I do have friends here and they know my birthday is coming up and friends in Colorado Springs aren't any better than friends in Mesa. Friends is friends. And so a dinner was planned. I do think it's funny that about a third of the people invited I've only met once or twice. Then, having nothing to do with my birthday, a friend suggested going to a museum on Friday night in Phoenix. During this discussion people started talking about their attire. I have a tiara that was part of a halloween costume purchase but I always look for opportunities to wear it (usually failing) and it was decided that I would wear it for the museum. Then a friend commented that what better occasion to wear it than before my birthday, confirming that my decisions was a sound one.

Well, all that did was allow the inner child to come screaming out and I decided that I would be wearing it all weekend long, to work, church and any occasion that would take me out into the public. I probably will chicken out actually, but still, I can't help but be a child at heart and am really grateful for all the friends in Arizona that are helping me be my true self and pampering me a little, even if just my ego.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I won that halloween costume contest, it was probably less the tiara and more of the gaping throat wound that secured the win. I've attached a picture of me with the runner ups of the contest that year.

Does Arizona Get Hot?

So Wednesday is the first day that I've ever seen an extreme heat warning advisory on the weather channel. But we have one. And surprisingly I'm a little excited in addition to being apprehensive. I do wonder if I'll be able to handle it but I hesitate to say that I think I can. Anyone who is from Arizona, has visited Arizona in the summer, or has even seen it on a map feels an obligation to warn me of the heat in Arizona. When I explain that I understand how hot it gets they feel the need to reiterate just how hot. And no matter how many times I've explained that everyone who knows that I'm new to the state has given me that exact information, they seem sure that I just don't understand the gravity of how hot it can get.

Now, I know that I am not a true Arizonian just yet. It's still June and besides the fact that the heat is just starting, I haven't even seen a scorpion or a cactus up close. But the idea of extreme heat is not foreign to me. I lived in St. George, UT for awhile, including the summer. It definitely got to be over 100 degrees and I know, I know, it isn't like Mesa, but any temperature over 100 degrees is pretty extreme. And I survived that and even flourished a little in it.

I think people must think that anyone who previously lived in a snowy and cold area like Colorado Springs, CO couldn't possibly understand what it means to have to stay inside their homes because of extreme weather. Now before anyone from Minnesota or Chicago or any other ridiculously cold area wants to tell me that I don't know what cold is, yes, I'm aware. But my snot has still frozen in Colorado. I've endured snow storms that have shut the city down, even if just for a night or two. I've had to make a run from my front door to my car so I could get away from the offensive cold just as Arizonians make a run to their car to get out of the heat. Here's the difference. While running in Arizona, you don't potentially hit a patch of black ice and slam on your butt on the way to the car. You don't have to trudge through 2-3 feet of snow because your apartment complex didn't think to put a sidewalk from your stairs to the parking lot. You don't potentially break through what you thought was solid ice and freeze your foot in a puddle. And after successfully, or unsuccessfully depending on what you endured, you don't have to then scrap ice off your windshield. Ice that is impossible to remove as a freshly picked booger you're trying to flick off your finger. Once inside the car I imagine it might take a while to cool a hot car down just as it takes some time to heat a cold car up. In Colorado though, you have to hope that your defrost will work quick enough to make sure all your hard ice scraping work wasn't in vain, and usually it was pointless. Then comes the joy of navigating the icey roads and worse than that, the other drivers on the roads who don't know how to drive on the ice.

In Colorado Springs I spent a good amount of time in my apartment avoiding the weather. The difference now is that there is a lot less work involved when I do have to venture out. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I'm also trying to convey to everyone that I GET IT. It's hot. Thank you for the information. I think I'll stay here for awhile anyway.

Nothing new to report

All I want to say really is that tomorrow I'm off to Idaho for the first time. I have been there once before, to Preston, ID to see a friend's farewell before he went on his mission and it was so close to the border of Utah that we drove there on Sunday, went to church, ate lunch and drove back to Utah in less than a 16 hour period. Doesn't count. This time I'm flying to Rexburg, ID and I'll be there all weekend and I'll finally get to see my best friend. Who I haven't seen in over 6 months. Not that big a deal you say? Well it is. This is the girl that I lived with for two and a half years. It's a big deal and I'm STOKED!

An Overdue Tribute

So just now as I was reading my scriptures and studying I was just overcome with the Spirit of Gratitude. I thought of all my family and friends and realized how blessed I am to have such great people in my life and I had to say a prayer of thanks to God for all of them. And then I just really wanted to share why I thought each of them were so great. My first thought was to write them a letter, but then I remember that I'm a blogger now and I wanted to share it with everyone I know who will listen.

My family is a unique blend of individuals. We don't always get along and there have been times of struggle and times of grief and contention, but if you look at the family as a whole and not at just any one time, we are a family of support and forgiveness. There hasn't been any transgression that hasn't been forgiven or being worked on for forgiveness. There have been times that what would seem to cut you off forever has been forgotten and relations healed. When a sibling has strayed away from the rest, we speak of them in a loving way and maybe they don't know it, but they would be welcomed back with open arms.

I love my Dad. I'd like to think that his greatest frustration with his children is our stubborn indifference to what he tries to teach us. No matter the lesson, we've gone our way and disregarded his advice. We falter a lot and have learned the lessons he's taught us on our own and by our own mistakes. This isn't true in every case, but it's true for a lot of them. What I love about my dad is the determined manner in which he seeks to help us correct our wrongs. There isn't any amount of money or time that is too much when we need it. He is always there to help. Maybe he wants to still offer advice and maybe we don't want to hear it, but it's there and it's offered from a loving place that wants to see his children succeed in all they do. I can't imagine that there's anything I could do that would turn my father away from me. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me and he loves all his children and grandchildren.

I love my Mother, Ricky. She has taught me so much throughout the years. She has taught me to be an independant woman. She loves me and is concerned for me. And she knows what I need even when I haven't told her. She seeks all that is good and harmonious in her life and tries to be full of good and positive energy. She is also someone who would do whatever she could for her children. She doesn't always get listened to either in the way she may want. But she is a powerful force to be reckoned with and has taught her children to have that same voice. There isn't one of us who is meek or afraid to share what we think and we get that from her.

I love my Mother, Laura. I know that she has so many regrets in her life. She's told me the other day that she is waiting for the day that I will vent to her all my frustrations of my childhood. I told her then and I'll say it again, I love her and I don't hold grudges. I believe that all our experiences are growing experiences and I've learned from my past, mostly, not to let it hold me back or be an excuse to fail or not achieve my potential. I love my mom because she wants to be better and she never gives up that sweet hope that none of us should ever give up.

I love my Sister, Tara. She is 11 years older than me and it probably took 13 or so years after our families joined together before we really became to understand each other. But she has been an example to me of striving to be righteous. She's overcome a lot and has stayed true to her faith and that has given me an added measure of strength. Something I think she may be unaware of. I think a lot of her life and have always looked up to her and admired her endurance in the gospel and her success in life. She has a beautiful home and family. She has also shown great support to me in my greatest times of trial.

I love my Sister, Janna. I worshiped her as a child and I adore her as an adult. She is fun loving and always up for a good time. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders and is someone that I can always talk to. She's usually the first in the family to hear my concerns or secrets or fears and she's there to be an ear and support and help me decide the next course of action. A great tribute to Janna are her children and their love and support of their mother.

I love my Brother, Jeremy. No matter the consequence, Jeremy has always been at my defense. Sometimes maybe too strongly, but he has an unfallable sense of family loyalty. It has seemed at times that it was forgotten, but I know that it's still there. He's my example of what it means to stand firmly by your family and defend them at all costs.

I love my Brother, Forrest. He is eleven years my junior, but sometimes seems so much wiser than me. He is so accepting of all people and has such a sweet spirit about him. He was one of the wildest little boys to ever have lived on this earth but as he's gotten older and into adulthood, he has seemed so peaceful and loving. So often I think of a day when he was still in junior high and he had a huge birthday party. One boy was off by himself and wouldn't join in with anyone else. I remember pointing the boy out to Forrest and his thoughtful nod. This was Forrest's day. He could have easily decided that he didn't want to be bothered with taking care of someone else, but instead, he walked over, sat next to that boy on the stone wall and talked with him. I watched him. He had given that boy his full attention. He wasn't distracted with what was going on around them and he didn't look eager to get back to the festivities. He spoke with him, found out the personal reasons that this particular day was bad for the boy, gave him words of encouragement and invited him to join in when he was ready. Which he did later. I remember being in awe of my brother that day as I watched this exchange and as he confided in me what had been spoken. I watched that boy join in and enjoy the rest of his time there and I know it was in response to the kindness of my brother. This kindness has never ceased and I love him dearly for it.

There are a few people, not in my immediate family, but who have been such strong support to me that it would be negligent to not mention them here.

First is my friend Myke. He has grown to be someone who I consider my cheerleader. He offered eager support to me when I told him of my decision to move to Arizona and later I would find out, he had recruited his friends to help welcome me to this state. And they have and it has made a move to a state where I knew less than 5 people so much the easier. He is also someone that I know will help and support me in whatever way that he can. I know because he has so many times already. He cheers on my pursuits and encourages me to do the things that I'm scared to do, like start a blog. I'm grateful for him and his friendship.

Second, and I saved them for last, are my friends Kayla and Ryan Lange. Kayla was my roommate for almost three years. She's had to endure me at my worst times and as my worst self. Ryan, as her fiance, got a taste of that as well. Regardless of that, these two know all my secrets. They literally know everything there is to know about me, good and bad. And to say that they are my strongest supporters is understating it. They have seen and heard all my thoughts and feelings about things past and present and my fears for the future and they have offered nothing less than strong, spriritual hope and support. This isn't to undermine any of the strong support that I've received from my family and from other friends, but I feel like sometimes people hide parts of themselves from others, even if it's just a little bit. I've hidden nothing from them and it hasn't made any difference.

If you didn't see your name on this list please do not be offended by it. I'm grateful each day for every single person who has shown me love and support and offered words of encouragement. I'm amazed at the quality of people who fill my life and there are so many who don't know that they are examples to me in one way or another. But the people above bear special mention because of their significant influence in my life.

This post would be a waste, however, if I failed to mention the one great support and source of strength to me beyond any other. I am so grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ and God, His Father. All the talents and strengths I have come from them. I've overcome great trials and temptations with their help and guidance. I have a powerful testimony of the truthfulness that they do exist. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the love that I feel from them and the patience they show me. It is UNDENIABLE to me. I'm grateful for the sacrifices of the early saints in the bringing forth of the Book of Mormon and the Restoration of Christ's church. That Joseph Smith and so many others sacrificed their lives is unfathomable to me but I know that their testimonies and work have brought the gospel into my life. And I'm forever grateful to them for it.

The person who I am today and the person that I will become is attributable especially to God and Christ but also to the people mentioned above and everyone else who has supported me over the years. I'm grateful and I wanted to say thank you and tell you all how much I love you.

Scar Essay- Prewriting

So I'm taking an english class and thought it would be fun to put up what I'm working on for my first paper here. Feel free to comment and make suggestions for changes. This first one is just the prewriting part. It's basically just general information on the scar and what I think about it. Not the actual paper. In case you can't figure it out, we were supposed to choose a scar, either physical, mental or emotional, and write about it.

"The scar I chose is a small horizontal line on the bridge of my nose. It is the result of only three stitches on the outside of my nose, but represents a time when I shattered the entire bone that made up that bridge. When I look at my nose in the mirror you can barely tell that it’s not right. But when I run my finger over the scar I can feel the bump in the bone that didn’t used to be there and I can feel a slight indentation from the scar, slight but still feeling immense under the pad of my finger. I got this particular scar from smashing my face on the roll bar of a Jeep Wrangler. I was off roading with some friends. It was summer in St. George, UT and we had just been at the lake and were returning home when we noticed a steep, small trail in the canyon. There were two friends in the front seats and three of us in the back seat. This was the best trail we had found all day and I remember right before we hit that hole in the ground we were laughing and smiling and looking at each other in excitement. As soon as we did hit that hole I was airborne and ironically, slamming into the roll bar is what put me back into my seat. Of all the stupid, careless, and foolish choices I had been making in my life around this time, I had chosen not to wear a seatbelt. Back in my seat, too stunned yet to react, everyone else was cheering and laughing. They hadn’t even noticed yet that there was something wrong. I’ll actually never forget the look on my friends face when he turned around to enjoy the moment with us and instead saw me and all the blood.

I hate this scar. I have a few others that come with interesting stories and humorous antecdotes. But this scar is the one that is a constant reminder of all the bad decisions I’ve made in my life. This scar happened when I was a careless and foolish 19 year old girl who didn’t know what it meant to be an adult until I would ultimately be stunned, yet again, by the consequence of an even greater and more careless choice. This scar reminds me of everything I don’t want to be again. It reminds me that there are consequences for not making correct decisions and for not protecting yourself. I associate this scar with the look on my friends face when he noticed me that first time and interestingly enough, it is the same face I imagine that my family and friends had when they heard of my later indiscretion. This scar fills me with regret because what could have been an exciting summer day in my history, barely remembered through the haze of all the other memories, is now a vivid reminder of my stupidity then and later to come."

Nervous Laughter Perfected

I've worked in some different customer service industries and have been placed in different uncomfortable situations. None, however, are as awkward to deal with as the drunken horny hotel guest.
If anyone actually knows me, like really knows me, you know, and often find humor, or horror, in the fact that I sometimes welcome customer conflict. Especially when the guest is clearly in the wrong. My favorite job so far has been the Covenants Administrator at a HOA in Colorado. Telling people that they're breaking the rules and being 100% right? I can't think of a better job!
My choice to work in a hotel actually came while working at a restaurant and serving, unbeknowest to me, the general manager of the hotel across the street. I got a job offer after the two minutes it took to take and deliver their drink orders. I made some sarcastic joke and she was hooked. I worked at the hotel first as a room service server and was quickly moved over to the front desk after they noticed my incredible work ethic and customer service skills. Maybe that sounds conceited but oh well, I can't help what's true. :)
I had zero idea though what kind of industry I was getting myself into when I moved over to that front desk. I was in for a surprise for just how little people traveling feel they should do for themselves. In my first week at the front desk a family entered the hotel all in swim gear and eager to get to their destination. They skipped up to the desk and asked me,
"Where exactly are the springs?"
"Um...Manitou Springs' drinking springs?"
"No, the hot springs."
"Uh...we don't have hot springs here."
"Isn't this Colorado Springs?"
"It is, but we don't have springs. The nearest are two hours away in Glenwood Springs."
The dad's next course of action was to question me as to why a city would have the name springs in it without having any actual springs. He was actually angry with me over this great travesty. As if I had something personally to do with naming this town founded several years before my grandparents were even a thought in my great-grandparents minds. My thinking was, how are you, a grown man going to bring your family to a strange town and not even research anything about it? The best part of this whole story is that this wasn't even a guest of my hotel. This man drove his family into a strange town, walked into a random hotel and asked a how to get somewhere that didn't exist. Good job dad.
I could go on and on about this sort of story but that's a whole different blog. The purpose of this post are the helpless guests who quickly turn into potential sexual offenders. I'd like to add a side note, that not once in Colorado did a guest proposition me. But in Arizona, people be needin some lovin!
The first hotel I worked at here was full of black men who kept inviting me to their room. I love when they give me their room number. I know where you are, I work here, but thanks. The last guy at that hotel went so far as to graphically describe what he had planned and included some well placed gestures. He was super drunk and I actually found myself worried that I may not be able to get rid of him. It was the first time I was actually concerned for my welfare. I mean first. I wasn't even scared of the death threats at the bank I used to work at, but this guy and his gyrations were a little uncomfortable. And on top of that, he's drunk, so there's a fine line sometimes between placating them and aggravating them, and where exactly is that line? I'm not good with fine lines. I usually barrel straight over them without realizing that they were there in the first place.
Last night was a good example of the line being crossed without my knowledge. We had a guest come to check in and immediately needed help with every little thing. We gave him directions to the local bar and he went on his way. When he returned hours later he was super hungry and all we have to offer at this hotel are M&M's that we have at the front desk. I gave him the number to a 24 hour pizza delivery service and he stood at the counter to make his order. Any guest who wants to conduct his business at the counter is a pain because they will inevitably be asking question after question. But whatever, not the point. He asked if I would like some pizza and I declined, explained that I had already eaten but thank you for the offer. When he got off the phone he was very persistent that he wanted to give me a slice. In the middle of the debate came the, what time do you get off, inquiry. At this point my antenna had finally gone up but I was completely thrown off guard. I'm not trying to sound racist but the extent of my experience with flirtatious guests had been limited to black men only. I don't know what it is that I'm doing that they like, but they like it, and they like it even more to tell me they like it. This guy though was white. And the initial offer of food is not uncommon. All different size, shape, sex and race of guest like to bring me food. But the persistant offer is not very common and the when are you free question is even more uncommon. I finally agreed to a slice just to end the conversation and get rid of him.  Here's where I thought the line had been crossed. After agreeing to pizza he said that I would need to come up to his room to get it. Crap. What do I say now? It's in my very nature to joke around with guests and I've just realized joking isn't going to work here. I agreed and just figured when the pizza came I would tell him I was unable to leave the desk but thank you and good night. When he got up to his room he called down and said, don't bother sending up the pizza guy, when it comes, you deliver it to me. My next instinctive question was, "Why?" It just came out. "Because I want you to", was his answer. Okay...
See, what I've learned about myself is that of all the times I've welcomed and successfully traveled through confrontation in customer situations, I immediately shut down when it comes to the drunken and hidden proposition. He hasn't directly offered anything inappropriate, but I know of many situations where a hotel employee has delivered something to a guest room and the guest is naked or half naked. I've encountered the half naked variety often. And I know that he won't be waiting at the door with the slice in hand, he's gonna want me to come in and get it. Literally and figuratively. Not interested. Wanting to get off the phone with as little conversation as possible, I just said that I would try to bring up the pizza. I immediately went to the other night auditor and explained what had just happened. He had only been out for the first 30 seconds of this interaction and immediately told me that this is what happens when you joke around. Uh, no it's not. I joke with everyone, drunk and sober. This is new and uncomfortable and I'm completely weak when trying to avoid this potentially scary event. At the least he's just going to give me pizza, at the worst I'm in a seriously bad situation. And I've mentioned before that I'm a glass half empty person so I prepare for the worst. It did take a few more phone calls to convince him I wasn't going to be delivering the pizza, all phone calls initiated by him BTW. And the night went by without incident. But I'd like to know how I can keep this from happening again.  Suggestions are appreciated if there are even any to be given.

The Zombie Obsession

I've been fascinated lately with this new zombie fascination. It seems like it's been in the works for quite some time. There are a ton of zombie movies to choose from. Video games, books (anyone heard of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies?), TV shows(Walking Dead...anyone? anyone?). What I love most is that now companies are putting zombies into their commercials. I love the Starburst's sarcastic, cynical, bus riding zombie(a little bit of trivia for you in case you didn't already know, that zombie is Zach Woods, otherwise known as Gabe, from the Office). Honda Civic has jumped onto the zombie bandwagon. There are zombie flash mobs. It's just the funniest universal obsession I've seen in awhile.

However, the kicker for me though, is that the CDC, Centers for Disease Control & Prevention have released a zombie apocalypse emergency preparedness plan. It's a cover for preparing you for actual emergencies with the pretense of a zombie invasion. But how great is it that an organization outside of the entertainment and advertising industry has reached out to a zombie loving focus group!?

Zombies. I mean, come on. I'd love to know how realistic a zombie apocalypse actually is because as much as I'm starting to see them in the media, I'm really starting to believe that I may just run into one one day.

Here's the link to the CDC's blog. It includes a little history about zombies.

thoughts on me as a friend...

So I had a phone conversation yesterday afternoon with an old friend who moved away from Colorado years before I did. We made brief reference to our friendship when we were both living in the same city and he described friendship with me in one perfect word...Intense. It kept repeating itself in my head throughout the day and I realized that there is no better way to describe friendship with me. And I mean, heartfelt, share deepest secrets with one another friendship, not just mere acquaintances. I took a look back over the relationships I've had with dating or just great friends and sometimes I'm embarrassed to admit, even to myself, the actions I've taken and the things I've said. I am an intense friend. I was thinking back on one friend I have who, when she was caught in a lie that she had told me, explained that I have high expectations for my friends and it's hard to live up to that. I've always thought about that. So with that in the back of my head, and this new comment of having an intense friendship, I wonder, what does it take to be a good friend? I think overall I'm a good friend. I have good intentions. I care about my friends and what happens to them, but the intense part and the high expectation part is that I seem to be overly involved in the things that happen to them. And this only applies to great friends. I can watch a pretty good friend make a similar life choice and be worried, but I don't feel as upset about it as I would a great friend. I can see a pretty good friend have a major triumph and I'm happy for them, but a great friend, I'm full of pride that they call me friend and that I know them.

It's been said on more than one occasion that you can always tell what I'm thinking by my face. It shows everything. Happy, sad, mad, annoyed, incredulous. And I know from experience that if a thought enters into my head I can't not say it. I may hold it in for a while but it finds it's way out eventually. So I wonder if these great friends of mine feel this way about me because I don't hide any emotion or thought from them. Other people may see things on my face, but eventually, they leave so they don't get to hear thoughts on their actions always. I don't really know the answer. I don't know the reason. I wish I did. I want to be a better friend, not so alienating at times. I know that despite my shortcomings, I have qualities that keep these friends around. Because they are still around. And they are still great friends.

Sometimes I get to wondering about how much of myself do I want to change in the name of being a better friend? I feel like I've reined myself in a bit. But when I look back on it I wonder if I've reined it in or if I'm just avoiding the problem altogether. I'm in a new town with new people and I'm not always confident that my loud and boisterous personality is going to go over very well. I think it takes a little time to get to know me and to love the me that I am. But usually I'm surrounded by good friends who are easy to like and balance me out a little. So new people keep coming back. But here, in this town, I'm the visitor in homes and as soon as I felt that intensity and overbearingness, I found myself pulling away from new friends. If I can't figure out a way to rein it in in the present, maybe it's best to not be present. But that's obviously not the answer either. I need to be confident in the person that I am. Confident in the friend that, while loud and boisterous and "intense" and full of expectations, is still a good, caring, accepting friend.

And literally, for the first time ever, I finally see all of the good things my friends have been telling me over and over again that I have and that keep them coming back.

Adult baby? Really?

Okay...wait a minute...(long sigh)...what?! I just want to go on record and say that my willingness to play with legos from time to time does not mean I want to sleep in a crib or have someone feed me from a bottle..or, wait, crap, maybe it does. And if you want to know what I'm talking about just follow the link below. Which, as far as I know, doesn't actually have anything to do with the picture above, that picture just really illustrates what I picture adult babies to look like.

http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/05/04/6584344-an-infantalist-meet-stanley-the-adult-baby?gt1=43001

The Heebie Jeebies

Alright, I am a 31, almost 32, year old woman. Girl. Whatever. I feel like at some point I should stop waiting for the boogeyman to appear in reality, but I just can't. I chalk it up to a VIVID imagination and an unfortunate sense of pessisism. Regardless of the reasons, whenever I enter into any setting that mirrors any thriller/horror movie I am instantly transported into a fantasy world that terrifies me. Nothing even has to happen, I just give myself the heebie jeebies. Here are a couple of examples.

My parents used to live out in the boonies in Monument, CO. On the drive to their house I would pass this older home and big barn. Then I saw The Ring and decided that this house and barn looked just like the ones in the movie. Immediately I started hating the drive to my parents home. Forget that I later had a second viewing of this movie and realized they're nothing alike, it was in my mind and my mind was not letting go of this comparison. And often they would have me housesit for them so there were many drives down this particular road. To make matters worse, on their property was a stable where they kept their dogs and it was just a quick few steps from the house to the stable, but it was dark and you had to cross this tiny bridge and go through some overgrown bushes. With the combination of the setting of what to me was a terrifying movie, and being all out in the open, completely alone, when walking to the stable, I really started hating housesitting for the folks. I was expressing this to my dad one day and he seemed very confused about why I was scared.

DAD: "You mean to tell me that you can live downtown around a bunch of college kids and bums and that doesn't scare you as much being out here with no one around you?"

ME: "That's exactly it. Out here, there's no one to hear me scream."

The most recent scene of my self inflicted terror is at my new place of employment. I work for an older hotel. The basement of this hotel is pretty extensive and is where the housekeeping and laundry operations are. It also houses the employee break room and bathrooms. To get to the basement you have to walk down a flight of stairs and it's full of cement stairs and clanging doors. Then you come out into one end of a long hallway that is painted yellow and orange. Down towards the end are the bathrooms and employee break room, so essentially, I get to walk down this long hallway, complete with flickering flourescent lights, all the while staring at the double doors at the end of the hall (I've included a picture of said hallway). And what I know is that on the other side of those doors is a meeting room that used to be a night club in the late 80's. What I also know is that some people believe that old night club to be haunted. Nuff said. I'm done for. As I'm walking down this hallway I'm just waiting for any one of cliche movie psychos to come out with a knife and chase me down. Will it be the prom queen who got stood up and blood poured on her when everyone realized what a fraud she really is? Will it be the janitor who's had it with feeling lower than everyone else? Will it be the masked insane asylum escapee? What about some random figment of my dreams and/or imagination? Or will it actually be the ghost of some 80's yuppie that overdosed on cocaine and George Michael? Whoever it would wind up to be in my imagination is enough for me stay the H-E-L-L outta that hallway thankyouverymuch!

Everyone seems to get a kick out of these fears of mine and I'll admit that I find them pretty entertaining myself, but no matter how absurd I realize they are, they are still there...haunting me. Yeah, that just happened.

What the heck!?

I'd like to know who it was that decided that as adults we don't get to participate in the fun holiday activities. Or am I just too immature to really understand why it is we don't get to? I miss the days of hunting for Easter eggs and getting a really cool basket full of candy and toys and new books. In my family all the cousins would search for the golden egg and it was full of all sorts of good things, including money. It was that plastic egg that ladies pantyhose used to come in. I miss knowing that I was too young and I was never gonna find that egg before the older kids, but I'd still like to try from time to time.

I know that I still get to dress up for Halloween but I'm really jealous when I see all the kids go out with pillowcases and such trick or treating. What the heck is up with having to stay at home and just answer the door over and over again?

And Christmas is okay, but all the work that is put into helping Santa get ready for the next morning takes a lot of the fun out of it. I'd like to go to bed early and come out in the morning with an unimaginable spread laid out before me.

I will say that on Thanksgiving I do really enjoy the adult table more than the kids table so atleast I have that going for me.

I'm just sayin is all. I'd like to have some ridiculous fun as well on the holidays instead of just being a bystander. Who decided that it had to stop for adults and what can we do to change this travesty?

Farewell Via de Ventura

For as long as I can remember, my sense of smell has been the most powerful at invoking nostalgic memories. There's a smell that I can never describe in words but I most often come across it in people's homes and it always sends me straight back to my childhood. It's a comforting smell. I remember that wherever I was when it first presented itself to me, it was a place where I felt safe and happy. I remember that I smelled it at a babysitter's or maybe a friend's home, basically, it wasn't my own. And I remember that there was a woman in the home that I really liked and I can see a blurry picture of her face in my head. I remember that when I was young I really liked Wonder Woman and, for whatever reason beyond her dark long hair, this woman with the comforting smell reminded me of Wonder Woman. It's the most powerful smell in my catalog of smells and whenever I come across it I find myself inhaling all that I can of it so that I can go back to wherever that childhood place of comfort was.


There are other times that I'll be driving down the road with the windows down and I get to experience all different kinds of smells. Sometimes I'm assaulted with Arizona's fine fertilizer smell, I had no idea that Mesa had so many farms. The smell of manure is actually the first thing I remember about driving into Mesa. I was so excited to be in Arizona finally. I drove 15 hours through different states, in awe of the mountains and valleys I saw before dark came. I was intrigued and a little frightened by the outlines of the cacti that were lining the street, as if I was getting an offensive greeting and at the same time I found it so comical. And then, finally, I'm in Mesa and I no longer noticed anything except my great need to cover my face and the stinging in my eyes. The only other time I've smelled fertilizer that was so offensive to the nose was when my sister lived in Hereford, TX, cow capital of the world, or so I've been told. I was disappointed and a little worried that I would now be forced to live in a place that literally smelled like crap. Thankfully, I did find out that this would not be a daily occurrence.


And with all that said, here's the whole point of this post. I currently commute to Scottsdale for my job but I only get to do that for one more night. I've accepted a job at a hotel much closer to my home and just off the interstate. Before this job change I had just recently discovered Via de Ventura Dr. It's a shortcut to my hotel in Scottsdale by one minute, but discovering it felt like discovering Atlantis. When I found it it was just starting to get warm here enough that I wanted to drive with the windows down. I drove past a pond and you could feel the moisture in the air, I love humidity, contrary to how the rest of the human race feels about it and I was just basking in the open air on my face and the beautiful palm trees that lined the streets and the median. And all of a sudden, there it was, the sweetest smell to ever come across my nose. Maybe it was the orange trees growing nearby along the roads, I really have no idea. What I do know is that whatever it was that I was smelling made me want to pull my car over, lay on the grass next to the pond and just look at the stars and smell that smell. It was hard to continue on to work from there, and this was happening to me night after night. I've never experienced such a content feeling before and this smell, this sweet blossoming fresh smell, was one of the most soul comforting smells I've ever come across.


After tomorrow night I won't be driving on Via de Ventura. I'll be taking the I-60 with all of it's noise and busyness. That feeling of contentment and peace won't be there anymore and I know that I'm, ironically, going to miss my commute to Scottsdale.