Someone else who inspires me...

So this story is old news to some, but it was new to me about a month ago and I can't stop thinking about it. My greatest fears are really the things that can happen in life suddenly and tragically. The things that aren't foreseeable consequences to our bad choices, just the things that are apart of the human existence. This story is of a woman, of a family, who had this and I'm so inspired by her story. By her constant smile and the beauty that shines through...here's a link to her blog...

Stephanie Nielson

I hope she inspires you all as she did me.

I imagine heaven to be similar to the 80's...

Okay okay okay. Worship of the 80's decade is nothing new. Certainly not original. But I can't help but long for the decade to come back. If I had a time machine I would go back to the 80's and stay there. For at least another 10 years anyway. The music was awesome. I've been watching a lot of 80's movies lately at home. And there are things that I miss that filmmakers just don't do now. Not any that I can think of and if you can think of some, keep it to yourself, this is my blog and I'm always going to be right.

One of the things that 80's did differently was the music. First of all, they liked to make a song specifically for that movie. Wind Beneath My Wings...Beaches, Eye of the Tiger...Rocky III, (a little trivia regarding Rocky III, the Song, "You're the Best" that can be found on The Karate Kid soundtrack was originally written for Rocky the 3rd but Eye of the Tiger was chosen instead. Both great songs in my book), What a Feeling...Flashdance. Anyway, you get my drift. Why are we not writing iconic theme songs for movies anymore? Some of the best movie soundtracks I've heard recently are only really good to me because they include songs from different eras that I really enjoy.

Something else that 80's movies did with music was write theme music that was played throughout the film and depending on the action in the film, the tempo would get slower or faster. A great example of this is the movie Fletch, with Chevy Chase. I wish I could take credit for this observation, but one night watching this movie with a couple of friends, one of them pointed it out and it made for a hilarious night.

Something that really isn't attributable (did I spell that right?) to 80's movies but is part of what makes the decade so great...The Fashion. There isn't any other decade that is more hilarious to reenact in outfits and hairdos and makeup than the 80's. It might be "fun" to dress up in a roarin 20's outift or make a peace sign in some tie dye clothes. Even poodle skirts and tight t-shirts (for the fellas) makes for an enjoyable night. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, is more hilarious than what I've seen some of my friends come up with during an 80's night. They were ballsy back in the day! What is the deal with shoulder pads, why was this desirable to be seen on a woman? What about 80's butt? You know 80's butt, when women wore paints up to their actual waist line so their butt seemed to be really high? There are a lot of other examples but I'm getting tired of writing so I'm gonna end soon.

I just want to say that there aren't many songs nowadays that instill in me the emotions that a good 80's song does. I love when I'm listening to the radio and a long forgotten song comes on. The rush of nostalgia that comes over me is indescribable. When I watch an 80's movie I long for a long past era of time that seems, to me, to be other worldly even. I remember as a child looking forward to certain experiences and things only to find out that by the time I was old enough for them they were gone, along with the decade I love.

I miss it all and can only hope that one day, it will be recreated somewhere that will allow me to partake of all it's greatness.

You already know I love tacos but maybe you don't know these things...

So there was a really crazy dust storm here the other day. As a result the last couple of nights on my way to work it's been kinda of eerie outside. It seems like it's foggy outside but it's dirtier and browner and the air seems more still, if that's possible. There's one stretch of road that goes by some industrial area and they have a lot of flood lights on below the interstate so the glow seems to come from the ground and I feel like I'm in a Spielberg movie. For whatever reason I'm loving this weird dust fog. It makes me calm and more still on the inside. So I'm at work right now thinking about how much I love it. And then I started thinking of other things I love. The things that I love seem simple to me. Like, I love that the new blinds Chelsea put up in our windows give a different sort of light in our home. I love that after showering and washing my hair I can just let my hair air dry and it will be done for the day. I love singing and dancing in my car. And I mean SING and DANCE. I don't mess around with that sort of thing. I love looking up movies on wikipedia and ruining the ending for myself. This frustrates a lot of people but I love knowing what's going to happen before it happens. I love the office. It's one of the few shows that I'll watch by myself and will laugh right out loud to. And not just a chuckle, but a full, bend over myself laugh. This segues into my next love. I love James Spader. It's really kind of an odd thing because if I really look at him he's just so creepy. But I also remember him from the 80's, specifically Pretty in Pink and I just have a guilty pleasure hankerin for some Spader. So I love that he'll be on the office. I love vanilla flavored tootsie rolls. I love wasabi peas. Of course I love the obvious things and people but I've already dedicated a post to those people and I'm not repeating it here. I love facebook and I know people joke about stalking, but I really do like looking into other people's lives. Don't be creeped out, you most likely do it too if you have facebook. I'm pretty much done here. I love more weird crap but I'm at work right now and people are starting to arise and with all the interruptions I don't know how to end this in a non abrupt way.

BIRTHDAY WEEK!!

So I have an upcoming birthday, Sunday to be exact. This year I was sort of dreading it. For the last three birthdays I've had the same roommate and she has always made sure to do something for my birthday. And I don't know if it was because we knew that this last year would be our last year together or not, but we really went all out for one another's birthdays. And I usually go to dinner or lunch with the parents. This year though I'm in a strange land where not too many people know me. And while in Colorado Springs I'm probably known best for the parties I used to throw with Kayla, I'm more of a hermit here in Mesa. So I wasn't expecting much for my birthday this year, if anything at all.

I should have known better.

First of all, let me say that I'm in my thirties. As of Sunday I'll be 32. I keep feeling that at some point I should start acting my age, problem is, I don't know how a normal 32 year old would act.

Second, I do have friends here and they know my birthday is coming up and friends in Colorado Springs aren't any better than friends in Mesa. Friends is friends. And so a dinner was planned. I do think it's funny that about a third of the people invited I've only met once or twice. Then, having nothing to do with my birthday, a friend suggested going to a museum on Friday night in Phoenix. During this discussion people started talking about their attire. I have a tiara that was part of a halloween costume purchase but I always look for opportunities to wear it (usually failing) and it was decided that I would wear it for the museum. Then a friend commented that what better occasion to wear it than before my birthday, confirming that my decisions was a sound one.

Well, all that did was allow the inner child to come screaming out and I decided that I would be wearing it all weekend long, to work, church and any occasion that would take me out into the public. I probably will chicken out actually, but still, I can't help but be a child at heart and am really grateful for all the friends in Arizona that are helping me be my true self and pampering me a little, even if just my ego.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I won that halloween costume contest, it was probably less the tiara and more of the gaping throat wound that secured the win. I've attached a picture of me with the runner ups of the contest that year.

Does Arizona Get Hot?

So Wednesday is the first day that I've ever seen an extreme heat warning advisory on the weather channel. But we have one. And surprisingly I'm a little excited in addition to being apprehensive. I do wonder if I'll be able to handle it but I hesitate to say that I think I can. Anyone who is from Arizona, has visited Arizona in the summer, or has even seen it on a map feels an obligation to warn me of the heat in Arizona. When I explain that I understand how hot it gets they feel the need to reiterate just how hot. And no matter how many times I've explained that everyone who knows that I'm new to the state has given me that exact information, they seem sure that I just don't understand the gravity of how hot it can get.

Now, I know that I am not a true Arizonian just yet. It's still June and besides the fact that the heat is just starting, I haven't even seen a scorpion or a cactus up close. But the idea of extreme heat is not foreign to me. I lived in St. George, UT for awhile, including the summer. It definitely got to be over 100 degrees and I know, I know, it isn't like Mesa, but any temperature over 100 degrees is pretty extreme. And I survived that and even flourished a little in it.

I think people must think that anyone who previously lived in a snowy and cold area like Colorado Springs, CO couldn't possibly understand what it means to have to stay inside their homes because of extreme weather. Now before anyone from Minnesota or Chicago or any other ridiculously cold area wants to tell me that I don't know what cold is, yes, I'm aware. But my snot has still frozen in Colorado. I've endured snow storms that have shut the city down, even if just for a night or two. I've had to make a run from my front door to my car so I could get away from the offensive cold just as Arizonians make a run to their car to get out of the heat. Here's the difference. While running in Arizona, you don't potentially hit a patch of black ice and slam on your butt on the way to the car. You don't have to trudge through 2-3 feet of snow because your apartment complex didn't think to put a sidewalk from your stairs to the parking lot. You don't potentially break through what you thought was solid ice and freeze your foot in a puddle. And after successfully, or unsuccessfully depending on what you endured, you don't have to then scrap ice off your windshield. Ice that is impossible to remove as a freshly picked booger you're trying to flick off your finger. Once inside the car I imagine it might take a while to cool a hot car down just as it takes some time to heat a cold car up. In Colorado though, you have to hope that your defrost will work quick enough to make sure all your hard ice scraping work wasn't in vain, and usually it was pointless. Then comes the joy of navigating the icey roads and worse than that, the other drivers on the roads who don't know how to drive on the ice.

In Colorado Springs I spent a good amount of time in my apartment avoiding the weather. The difference now is that there is a lot less work involved when I do have to venture out. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I'm also trying to convey to everyone that I GET IT. It's hot. Thank you for the information. I think I'll stay here for awhile anyway.

Nothing new to report

All I want to say really is that tomorrow I'm off to Idaho for the first time. I have been there once before, to Preston, ID to see a friend's farewell before he went on his mission and it was so close to the border of Utah that we drove there on Sunday, went to church, ate lunch and drove back to Utah in less than a 16 hour period. Doesn't count. This time I'm flying to Rexburg, ID and I'll be there all weekend and I'll finally get to see my best friend. Who I haven't seen in over 6 months. Not that big a deal you say? Well it is. This is the girl that I lived with for two and a half years. It's a big deal and I'm STOKED!

An Overdue Tribute

So just now as I was reading my scriptures and studying I was just overcome with the Spirit of Gratitude. I thought of all my family and friends and realized how blessed I am to have such great people in my life and I had to say a prayer of thanks to God for all of them. And then I just really wanted to share why I thought each of them were so great. My first thought was to write them a letter, but then I remember that I'm a blogger now and I wanted to share it with everyone I know who will listen.

My family is a unique blend of individuals. We don't always get along and there have been times of struggle and times of grief and contention, but if you look at the family as a whole and not at just any one time, we are a family of support and forgiveness. There hasn't been any transgression that hasn't been forgiven or being worked on for forgiveness. There have been times that what would seem to cut you off forever has been forgotten and relations healed. When a sibling has strayed away from the rest, we speak of them in a loving way and maybe they don't know it, but they would be welcomed back with open arms.

I love my Dad. I'd like to think that his greatest frustration with his children is our stubborn indifference to what he tries to teach us. No matter the lesson, we've gone our way and disregarded his advice. We falter a lot and have learned the lessons he's taught us on our own and by our own mistakes. This isn't true in every case, but it's true for a lot of them. What I love about my dad is the determined manner in which he seeks to help us correct our wrongs. There isn't any amount of money or time that is too much when we need it. He is always there to help. Maybe he wants to still offer advice and maybe we don't want to hear it, but it's there and it's offered from a loving place that wants to see his children succeed in all they do. I can't imagine that there's anything I could do that would turn my father away from me. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me and he loves all his children and grandchildren.

I love my Mother, Ricky. She has taught me so much throughout the years. She has taught me to be an independant woman. She loves me and is concerned for me. And she knows what I need even when I haven't told her. She seeks all that is good and harmonious in her life and tries to be full of good and positive energy. She is also someone who would do whatever she could for her children. She doesn't always get listened to either in the way she may want. But she is a powerful force to be reckoned with and has taught her children to have that same voice. There isn't one of us who is meek or afraid to share what we think and we get that from her.

I love my Mother, Laura. I know that she has so many regrets in her life. She's told me the other day that she is waiting for the day that I will vent to her all my frustrations of my childhood. I told her then and I'll say it again, I love her and I don't hold grudges. I believe that all our experiences are growing experiences and I've learned from my past, mostly, not to let it hold me back or be an excuse to fail or not achieve my potential. I love my mom because she wants to be better and she never gives up that sweet hope that none of us should ever give up.

I love my Sister, Tara. She is 11 years older than me and it probably took 13 or so years after our families joined together before we really became to understand each other. But she has been an example to me of striving to be righteous. She's overcome a lot and has stayed true to her faith and that has given me an added measure of strength. Something I think she may be unaware of. I think a lot of her life and have always looked up to her and admired her endurance in the gospel and her success in life. She has a beautiful home and family. She has also shown great support to me in my greatest times of trial.

I love my Sister, Janna. I worshiped her as a child and I adore her as an adult. She is fun loving and always up for a good time. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders and is someone that I can always talk to. She's usually the first in the family to hear my concerns or secrets or fears and she's there to be an ear and support and help me decide the next course of action. A great tribute to Janna are her children and their love and support of their mother.

I love my Brother, Jeremy. No matter the consequence, Jeremy has always been at my defense. Sometimes maybe too strongly, but he has an unfallable sense of family loyalty. It has seemed at times that it was forgotten, but I know that it's still there. He's my example of what it means to stand firmly by your family and defend them at all costs.

I love my Brother, Forrest. He is eleven years my junior, but sometimes seems so much wiser than me. He is so accepting of all people and has such a sweet spirit about him. He was one of the wildest little boys to ever have lived on this earth but as he's gotten older and into adulthood, he has seemed so peaceful and loving. So often I think of a day when he was still in junior high and he had a huge birthday party. One boy was off by himself and wouldn't join in with anyone else. I remember pointing the boy out to Forrest and his thoughtful nod. This was Forrest's day. He could have easily decided that he didn't want to be bothered with taking care of someone else, but instead, he walked over, sat next to that boy on the stone wall and talked with him. I watched him. He had given that boy his full attention. He wasn't distracted with what was going on around them and he didn't look eager to get back to the festivities. He spoke with him, found out the personal reasons that this particular day was bad for the boy, gave him words of encouragement and invited him to join in when he was ready. Which he did later. I remember being in awe of my brother that day as I watched this exchange and as he confided in me what had been spoken. I watched that boy join in and enjoy the rest of his time there and I know it was in response to the kindness of my brother. This kindness has never ceased and I love him dearly for it.

There are a few people, not in my immediate family, but who have been such strong support to me that it would be negligent to not mention them here.

First is my friend Myke. He has grown to be someone who I consider my cheerleader. He offered eager support to me when I told him of my decision to move to Arizona and later I would find out, he had recruited his friends to help welcome me to this state. And they have and it has made a move to a state where I knew less than 5 people so much the easier. He is also someone that I know will help and support me in whatever way that he can. I know because he has so many times already. He cheers on my pursuits and encourages me to do the things that I'm scared to do, like start a blog. I'm grateful for him and his friendship.

Second, and I saved them for last, are my friends Kayla and Ryan Lange. Kayla was my roommate for almost three years. She's had to endure me at my worst times and as my worst self. Ryan, as her fiance, got a taste of that as well. Regardless of that, these two know all my secrets. They literally know everything there is to know about me, good and bad. And to say that they are my strongest supporters is understating it. They have seen and heard all my thoughts and feelings about things past and present and my fears for the future and they have offered nothing less than strong, spriritual hope and support. This isn't to undermine any of the strong support that I've received from my family and from other friends, but I feel like sometimes people hide parts of themselves from others, even if it's just a little bit. I've hidden nothing from them and it hasn't made any difference.

If you didn't see your name on this list please do not be offended by it. I'm grateful each day for every single person who has shown me love and support and offered words of encouragement. I'm amazed at the quality of people who fill my life and there are so many who don't know that they are examples to me in one way or another. But the people above bear special mention because of their significant influence in my life.

This post would be a waste, however, if I failed to mention the one great support and source of strength to me beyond any other. I am so grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ and God, His Father. All the talents and strengths I have come from them. I've overcome great trials and temptations with their help and guidance. I have a powerful testimony of the truthfulness that they do exist. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the love that I feel from them and the patience they show me. It is UNDENIABLE to me. I'm grateful for the sacrifices of the early saints in the bringing forth of the Book of Mormon and the Restoration of Christ's church. That Joseph Smith and so many others sacrificed their lives is unfathomable to me but I know that their testimonies and work have brought the gospel into my life. And I'm forever grateful to them for it.

The person who I am today and the person that I will become is attributable especially to God and Christ but also to the people mentioned above and everyone else who has supported me over the years. I'm grateful and I wanted to say thank you and tell you all how much I love you.