How is it possible that I'm actually in my 30's?

Okay. This is ridicuous. I'm 32. I do not feel 32. I don't look 32. Most importantly, I DO NOT ACT 32. I believe that for someone to be in their 30's they need a whole new level of maturity. I'm not sure what that level is because I definitely haven't reached it yet. I see other 30somethings out there in the media or walking around and I think, "Is that how I'm supposed to look and act?" I really have been trying to ignore my age desperately. And so what I'd like to do here is list the things I do and say that prove that I'm not really in my 30's. Something happened and something went wrong, but I'm definitely not a 30something.

• I still say, and encourage, "That's what she said" jokes.
• I prank people by sticking little signs all over their yard.
• I pout.
• I enjoy grape soda.
• I dance to Britney Spears' older albums.
• I participate in nerf gun battles with my friends.
• I still think it would be a great idea to dress up like zombies, fill a dummy with cherry pie, take it to a park and eat it and make it look like we're eating a human being. (Thanks Casey Fish)
• I'm frustrated that I can't search for Easter Eggs anymore and now have to be "Santa's Helper."
• I'm FURIOUS that I can't trick or treat anymore.
• I laugh when I see someone trip and almost fall.
• Sometimes when I'm driving away from somewhere I pretend my car is a racecar during the first rev off the curb.
• I want someone to take care of me when I'm sick.
• When I'm in the pool I'll dip my head in and pull it out so I can do that flippy thing with my hair that girls do to make it look like one big curl across my head.
• I regret never learning how to do a cartwheel.
• I think it's funny to scare my roommate when she comes out of the bathroom.
• I really want to reinstate Pee Wee Herman's word of the day where you pick a word and anytime someone says it everyone SCREAMS!!

I think that's enough for now. I firmly believe that mature and reponsible 30somethings wouldn't do all these things and if life can't be lived to the fullest absurdities than I want no part of it!