Why I believe that Winnie the Pooh is a bad influence on children...

I've had a theory that I like to sometimes share with people and I think given that this cartoon has a movie out, it's a good time to blog about my theory.

Winnie the Pooh teaches children about bad qualities to develop. Let me illustrate...

Winnie the Pooh himself: This bear teaches about gluttony and obsession. He continuosly gets his head stuck inside his jar of honey. He overindulges in it can often be found amoung many empty jars after binging on his "drug" of choice. This is supposed to be adorable? It isn't. As a child I remember being sometimes irritated at his stupidity.

Piglet: For real, this little creature is terrified of everything and constantly has people running to protect him. Yes, let's teach our children about insecurites and being afraid of every little shadow. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and blame my own fears on my unfortunate viewings of this children's show and Piglet's less than exemplary example.

Tigger: There are almost no words. This bouncy tiger was just plain obnoxious. Always in everyone's way. Bouncing around and creating havoc. I'm pretty sure he was on crack and/or speed. (Are those the same things?) Loud, hyper, and problematic. Mooching off the generosity of Kanga and Roo. He's the friend everyone has but tries to avoid at the same time.

Rabbit: I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea if the rabbit has a name or not. This creature was judgemental and rude and alienating. Even went so far as to barricade himself in his own home. Selfish and unwilling to share.

Owl: Also not sure on a name. I do remember that this owl was self righteous and pretended to be smarter than everyone else. Supposedly he could read but if anyone looked over his shoulder to read along you'd find that he couldn't in fact read. What a poser.

Kanga: The "mom" of the group. Fine, I have nothing bad to say about her. Except that she was a Tigger enabler.

Roo: So there was actually a study done on what kind of "person" Roo would grow up to become and it was found that he would be quite dysfunctional, especially since he had Tigger as his role model. So basically Roo was a follower and even went along with a scheme of Rabbit's to pretend that he had been kidnapped. What a little jerk.

Eeyore: I saved this guy for last. Really? This donkey was always losing his tail and resorted to self mutilation to keep it on. And that even failed. A depressed and self-loathing individual and constantly seeking words of affirmation from his friends. What a drain.

Then there's Christopher Robin. I don't remember enough about this character to really say anything so I'll talk instead about his namesake. Named after an actual little boy who grew up to be a real douche. Here is a quote he gave which makes me just wanna slap him around some, "It seemed to me almost that my father had got where he was by climbing on my infant shoulders, that he had filched from me my good name and left me nothing but empty fame".  That father gave you that name of yours and it has gone down in history (no matter how erroneously I believe it to be) as a favorite of children everywhere. I'm not sure where he gets off on saying his dad climbed on his infant shoulders. All you gave was your name, I mean, all your dad did was use the name he gave you. If that doesn't convince you that the real Christopher Robin is a bit of a douche maybe this will help. I got this from Wikipedia: "One of the poems, Vespers – which describes young Christoper Robin saying his evening prayers – was said by Christopher Milne as 'the one work that has brought me over the years more toe-curling, fist-clenching, lip-biting embarrassment than any other.'" Here is the said offensive poem:

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

God bless Mummy. I know that's right.
Wasn't it fun in the bath to-night?
The cold's so cold, and the hot's so hot.
Oh! God bless Daddy - I quite forgot.

If I open my fingers a little bit more,
I can see Nanny's dressing-gown on the door.
It's a beautiful blue, but it hasn't a hood.
Oh! God bless Nanny and make her good.

Mine has a hood, and I lie in bed,
And pull the hood right over my head,
And I shut my eyes, and I curl up small,
And nobody knows that I'm there at all.

Oh! Thank you, God, for a lovely day.
And what was the other I had to say?
I said "Bless Daddy," so what can it be?
Oh! Now I remember it. God bless Me.

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

I can think of a lot more embarrassing things than my father writing a sweet poem. Maybe I can see a little bit of embarrasment but, toe-curling, fist-clenching, lip-biting embarrassment? Maybe I'll blog about the things I've done and said that I would describe as that embarrassing, but not here.

Here's a picture of Mr. Christopher Robin Milne and his horrible and abusive father

                                                              

Anyway, I'm sure no one is convinced. And I'm sure that some of you will say to yourself, "Brianne, you yourself have some of the bad qualities you described." Sure I do, as do some of you. And I will forever attribute these obviously learned behaviors to a seemingly innocent cartoon. 

Thanks a whole lot Winnie the Pooh and Friends too.

Someone else who inspires me...

So this story is old news to some, but it was new to me about a month ago and I can't stop thinking about it. My greatest fears are really the things that can happen in life suddenly and tragically. The things that aren't foreseeable consequences to our bad choices, just the things that are apart of the human existence. This story is of a woman, of a family, who had this and I'm so inspired by her story. By her constant smile and the beauty that shines through...here's a link to her blog...

Stephanie Nielson

I hope she inspires you all as she did me.

I imagine heaven to be similar to the 80's...

Okay okay okay. Worship of the 80's decade is nothing new. Certainly not original. But I can't help but long for the decade to come back. If I had a time machine I would go back to the 80's and stay there. For at least another 10 years anyway. The music was awesome. I've been watching a lot of 80's movies lately at home. And there are things that I miss that filmmakers just don't do now. Not any that I can think of and if you can think of some, keep it to yourself, this is my blog and I'm always going to be right.

One of the things that 80's did differently was the music. First of all, they liked to make a song specifically for that movie. Wind Beneath My Wings...Beaches, Eye of the Tiger...Rocky III, (a little trivia regarding Rocky III, the Song, "You're the Best" that can be found on The Karate Kid soundtrack was originally written for Rocky the 3rd but Eye of the Tiger was chosen instead. Both great songs in my book), What a Feeling...Flashdance. Anyway, you get my drift. Why are we not writing iconic theme songs for movies anymore? Some of the best movie soundtracks I've heard recently are only really good to me because they include songs from different eras that I really enjoy.

Something else that 80's movies did with music was write theme music that was played throughout the film and depending on the action in the film, the tempo would get slower or faster. A great example of this is the movie Fletch, with Chevy Chase. I wish I could take credit for this observation, but one night watching this movie with a couple of friends, one of them pointed it out and it made for a hilarious night.

Something that really isn't attributable (did I spell that right?) to 80's movies but is part of what makes the decade so great...The Fashion. There isn't any other decade that is more hilarious to reenact in outfits and hairdos and makeup than the 80's. It might be "fun" to dress up in a roarin 20's outift or make a peace sign in some tie dye clothes. Even poodle skirts and tight t-shirts (for the fellas) makes for an enjoyable night. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, is more hilarious than what I've seen some of my friends come up with during an 80's night. They were ballsy back in the day! What is the deal with shoulder pads, why was this desirable to be seen on a woman? What about 80's butt? You know 80's butt, when women wore paints up to their actual waist line so their butt seemed to be really high? There are a lot of other examples but I'm getting tired of writing so I'm gonna end soon.

I just want to say that there aren't many songs nowadays that instill in me the emotions that a good 80's song does. I love when I'm listening to the radio and a long forgotten song comes on. The rush of nostalgia that comes over me is indescribable. When I watch an 80's movie I long for a long past era of time that seems, to me, to be other worldly even. I remember as a child looking forward to certain experiences and things only to find out that by the time I was old enough for them they were gone, along with the decade I love.

I miss it all and can only hope that one day, it will be recreated somewhere that will allow me to partake of all it's greatness.

You already know I love tacos but maybe you don't know these things...

So there was a really crazy dust storm here the other day. As a result the last couple of nights on my way to work it's been kinda of eerie outside. It seems like it's foggy outside but it's dirtier and browner and the air seems more still, if that's possible. There's one stretch of road that goes by some industrial area and they have a lot of flood lights on below the interstate so the glow seems to come from the ground and I feel like I'm in a Spielberg movie. For whatever reason I'm loving this weird dust fog. It makes me calm and more still on the inside. So I'm at work right now thinking about how much I love it. And then I started thinking of other things I love. The things that I love seem simple to me. Like, I love that the new blinds Chelsea put up in our windows give a different sort of light in our home. I love that after showering and washing my hair I can just let my hair air dry and it will be done for the day. I love singing and dancing in my car. And I mean SING and DANCE. I don't mess around with that sort of thing. I love looking up movies on wikipedia and ruining the ending for myself. This frustrates a lot of people but I love knowing what's going to happen before it happens. I love the office. It's one of the few shows that I'll watch by myself and will laugh right out loud to. And not just a chuckle, but a full, bend over myself laugh. This segues into my next love. I love James Spader. It's really kind of an odd thing because if I really look at him he's just so creepy. But I also remember him from the 80's, specifically Pretty in Pink and I just have a guilty pleasure hankerin for some Spader. So I love that he'll be on the office. I love vanilla flavored tootsie rolls. I love wasabi peas. Of course I love the obvious things and people but I've already dedicated a post to those people and I'm not repeating it here. I love facebook and I know people joke about stalking, but I really do like looking into other people's lives. Don't be creeped out, you most likely do it too if you have facebook. I'm pretty much done here. I love more weird crap but I'm at work right now and people are starting to arise and with all the interruptions I don't know how to end this in a non abrupt way.